The Devil and The Good China

a true story about heroin and drunk grandmothers

Welcome back to the pirate ship! Today is a piece of the memoir. Hope you enjoy!

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So without further ado…

My grandmother, my father’s mother, was an oblong drunk who wobbled around night and day stuffed into stretchy slacks and polyester tops guzzling Schlitz malt liquor like a Longshoreman on disability.

She looked like a frozen turkey stuffed into a tube sock and was always insanely drunk, complaining about what was going on "outside" while watching The Lawrence Welk Show.

Whoever said "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life" was right. My grandmother loved to drink and never worked a day in her life.

Although she didn't work, she took one job very seriously - guarding the dusty wooden china cabinet in our living room - and one night - she had to fend off The Devil himself.